Diving (about swimming and writing)

Abstract

"Swim: 1 v.i. float on or at surface of liquid... 2 Progress at or below surface of water by working legs, arms, tail, webbed feet, fins, flippers, wings, body, etc... 3 traverse or accomplish...cause to progress..." "Write: 1 v.i. form or mark symbols representing words esp. with with pen or pencil or typewriter on paper or parchment or other surface..." "Surface: 1 n. the outside of a material body, ...the limits that terminate a solid, the upper boundary of soil, water, etc., outward aspect of material or immaterial thing, what is apprehended of something on casual view or consideration..." Surface connects the acts of writing and swimming. When I swim, the tranquil surface of the water shatters, I send ripple upon ripple outwards; when I write, the paper - blank, pure, still - fragments into particles of meaning. ... Fear connects the acts of writing and swimming. I fear the depths, fear drowning; or fear that perhaps there is only surface, no possibility of immersion and nothing beyond. I fear the others who have plunged in before me - will they pull me down - have my pockets been filled with stones? I fear the depths, the unknown. Will I emerge? Will I emerge gasping and spluttering, bleary-eyed; or will I learn to hold my breath, to close my eyes? Will I one day emerge smoothly, triumphantly, buoyant, unblinking, into the sun?