Grieving to remember: Bonds that link parents to their suicide-deceased young adult child

Abstract

This paper presents findings from a research study that examined the experiences of parents bereaved through the suicide death of their young adult son or daughter. Twenty-two parents participated in in-depth interviews. The data was analysed using a narrative methodology, which identified three meta narratives. This presentation focuses on one of these: the ways in which parents continue an on-going relationship with their child post-death as a way of remembering and remaining connected with them. Parents told of the pressure they felt to resolve their grief within a relatively short period of time following their child's death. However, indicated they neither wished to break the bond with their child, nor did they see this as necessary. Although the death of their child had broken the physical bond, the emotional connection remained intact. Parents did not perceive a need to 'finalise' their grief or to sever ongoing connections. They refuted the concept that these responses were unusual, morbid, or harmful as has been suggested within some traditional grief models. Parents' dialogues are utilised to describe the personal and family rituals and memorials used to remain connected with their child. A discussion of this transition 'from grieving to remembering' is made in light of previous and emerging grief models and the impact this may have on working with people bereaved through suicide.