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We began work on the first edition of this book by searching other books, journal articles, the Internet, and the memories of colleagues. We based some of the activities on classic parlor activities such as charades. Some activities we made up whole, using creative processes that defy easy explanation. Once we had developed a number of activity ideas, we created a standard presentation format that includes suggestions about how to help participants transfer to their everyday lives the skills they learn engaging in the activities. For field testing the activities, we created a standard evaluation strategy that focused on the extent to which participants enjoyed the activity and the extent to which the activity produced the types of experiences that occur in sophisticated training or counseling. For example,John realized, as a result of engaging in some of the activities, that he could stand to improve his ability to take the perspective of others with whom he interacts and to understand their motivations and emotions. One night he played poor tennis, and a friend beat him for the first time ever. John felt unhappy and started to leave, saying little. Then he thought about engaging in the "Losing Well" activity with a group of children, and he called the other participant over to his car and praised him for his outstanding playing. The friend smiled-and then pointed out that John's tires were badly in need of air. He was right, and John saved the tires by adding air.John later thought that he now had a new anecdote to share with clients-and his children-about how using a good social style, specifically being a good loser, pays off, sometimes in surprising ways. |
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