Due to its increasing scarcity, fresh water has become a highly valued global market commodity with entrepreneurs advising speculators on how to advance their portfolios through innovative freshwater investments whilst upholding sustainable development objectives (Williams, 2023). Moreover, there is no shortage of global economic advice on the best 'water stocks' to maximise profits in the face of climate change and diminishing potable freshwater 'resources' (Whitakker, 2024). Its acquisition through investment or theft, is therefore, often a profitable enterprise. Water theft, defined by Interpol (2016: 33) as 'the unauthorized use and consumption of water before it reaches the intended end-user' constitutes between 30-50 percent of the global water distribution and commercialisation (Loch et al. 2020). However, the associated environmental and social impacts of water speculation and water theft remain under researched and largely unknown (Eman, 2023).